lostshaman.com

Been getting things together for our final presentation. Holy crap is there a lot of things to keep track of. What is odd is that this whole time at school, I haven’t done my usual trick of making lists of everything I need to do and keep track of. Perhaps that is why some things seem to have fallen through the cracks. Though, as I found in my days of keeping lists, things find their way into the cracks no matter what you do.

Graduation is in less than a week. Scary and exciting at the same time. I have actually started researching Venture Capital groups to potentially get our business plan to. So hard planning for the future when the future is so uncertain.

Brian and Lori are in town, and last night we spent some time catching up and laughing. It was a really good time. It was good to see Brian. That bastid always makes me laugh.

Still haven’t nailed down any specific moving plans. Probably won’t until after graduation is over. Hard to believe that I will be done and leaving this apartment in less than a month. Will be good to get into the next part of my life though.

So, it has been a little bit since I updated. Figured this was as good a day as any.

Since the last time I posted, I took a little trip to the ER. Looks like my kidney stone has decided to move. It sucks not having insurance and having to use the hospital because you think you might be dying.

Additionally, I am in my last month here in at school. On June 29, the same day the iPhone is released, I graduate with a bachelors in Entertainment Business. I hope to god I can get a good job after school. I really don’t want to spend another 5 years at a job I hate living a life that I dread. I want to move onto something better. I need something better than that.

Still, looking forward to and dreading the end of school. Anxious about my final month, hoping that all the previous months have taught me something. I think that they have. Hell, I find myself talking differerently than I used to. Even if most of the school just validated things I already knew about life, film, and business - I think it was a good experience.

Next stop: Job search.

Kidney stone. I have one.

I got my first stone when I was 19. It was a very surreal experience because I had no idea what was happening at the time. Hell, my parents, GF, and even the doctors didn’t know what was going on.  I remember being slightly out of my mind because of the pain.  At times unable to really even think.  It was all over in one night.  I hoped it would never return.  The doctors said it was probably smaller than a grain of sand.

A few years later different symptoms arose.  They scared me so much that without really a word I drove to my parents house from Atlanta all the while in pain.  After rounds of tests where the doctor thought I might have a problem with my prostate - it was discovered I had a stone.  I didn’t have insurance then and so I had to wait until it kicked in from the place I was working.  Nearly a year after I first had the pain and following a bunch of tests and 3 different kinds of treatment - it was gone.  That one was 9mm.

Now I have another one.  This time 6-7mm.  The special diet they gave me might not be working, but I am weak and break it enough that it might work just fine I just haven’t been strict enough.  Again, I have no insurance and this time I don’t think I will be able to get any due to the whole “pre-existing condition” rules.  Just how do they expect people to get treatment?  The facilities all refuse to help you if you don’t have insurance, and often if you are in a situation where you don’t have insurance - you can’t afford the treatment anyway.  So, should I just curl up in a ball and hope the pain goes away?  Perhaps even end up dead because my kidney became damaged due to a blockage or damage caused by the stone gives me an infection?

I dunno what is going to happen next.  Whatever it is, it won’t change the fact that I will have stones for the rest of my life.  It is an odd feeling knowing that your own body might be your worst enemy.